The Cap and Kach Interview

Garlan: This week we have two guests at once, are you ready, Ferune.

Ferune: I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but I am always ready. It says so in my character profile.

Garlan: Our guests today are Caprilla and Kacheena. Welcome to the show!

Kacheena: Thank you very much, it's a pleasure to meet you two.

Ferune: Wait a minute. I see two young women. Kacheena, aren't you supposed to be a dragon?

Caprilla: She's supposed to not let anyone know. What other beans did you spill, Kacheena.

Kacheena: I didn't say anything at all.

Garlan: It's quite all right, ladies. Thomas told us, Your secret is safe with us.

Caprilla: Oh and it's not going to go past you two? You're blogging this!

Ferune: No really, your secret is safe. Nobody reads the blog.

Garlan: She's right. We've had almost zero traffic since these interviews began.

Caprilla: Almost?

Ferune: Garlan, can I treat these as hostile interviewees?

Caprilla: You haven't seen hostile yet.

Kacheena: Caprilla!

Garlan: Ferune! Let's just relax for a moment shall we? That's right, get back in your seat. Good. Now. Caprilla I see that you are an elf. That's a treat. We haven't had an elf on the show yet.

Kacheena: And you still don't have an elf on the show.

Garlan: What do you mean?

Caprilla: Shut it, Kach!

Ferune: Ha! I get it. She's disguised as an elf, just as Kacheena is disguised as a human woman. What is she really?

Kacheena: So you haven't read our story, Path of the Dragon, in Tales of Vorallon? That makes this even more interesting. You don't know anything about us.

Caprilla: And we should keep it that way.

Garlan: In the interest of moving forward, Kacheena, since we already know you actually are a dragon, perhaps you can tell us a bit more about yourself?

Kacheena: That's a great idea. You had Jill Hammond here last week. I am not as big as she is. We met at the Tower a short time ago while she was taking a tour - a meet and greet in preparation for future stories. Anyways, we're about the same age in actual years, but she's much bigger because of her origin.

Ferune: So you are a great dragon too?

Kacheena: Yes, natural born. I don't say that to descriminate against Jill though, she's awesome. What I mean is that I am much smaller. I won't be Jill's size for many years.

Garlan: What is this Tower you mentioned?

Caprilla: Don't answer that.

Kacheena: I don't have to tell them everything, Cap. Trust me.

Ferune: Another secret?

Kacheena: Well, we have a lot of those. We're kind of special operatives, so sorry, but there are a few details we are going to skirt around. The Tower is my home, the place where I was born and raised.

Ferune: So you have parents?

Garlan: Of course she has parents. Dragons don't just spontaneously spring into existance.

Ferune: Hello? Do you not remember Jill Hammond? We were just talking about her, moron. She has human parents, but as a dragon, she did just come into existance.

Kacheena: It's all right. Yes, I do have parents. Karanath is my father, and Seccula is my mother. And yes, they live in the Tower as well.

Ferune: Is there any other significance to this Tower?

Caprilla: Our story in the Tales of Vorallon takes place several thousand years after the events of the Gifts of Vorallon trilogy.

Ferune: I wasn't asking that, but thanks for volunteering. I take it you don't want me to ask any more questions about this Tower? Very well. What is Vorallon like during the time of your story?

Caprilla: It is a new age following the time of growth. Vorallon has been fully repopulated. There are people living on every continent. Halversome is a place of ancient legend. Nobody among the human races has any idea that it truly existed. It's the age of conflict where borders are drawn between the lands of men.

Garlan: And you can Kacheena are special operatives during this time? Like secret agents?

Caprilla: We're just two adventurers.

Ferune: That's not what Kacheena said. Who do you two work for? What's really going on here?

Kacheena: We can't answer that.

Ferune: That seems to be the theme here. Garlan, why are these two even here if they refuse tell us anything? This is supposed to be an interview.

Garlan: We have to run with it. Thomas set this up like he has all of our interviews.

Ferune: I'd rather be talking to him right now, these two are useless and teats on a boar.

Caprilla: Hey, I don't have to take this kind of abuse.

Ferune: Too bad, sweetheart. You two are abusing our show and our patience.

Caprilla: Patience?! That's it, Kach, we're leaving.

Ferune: Not soon enough. Worst interview ever!

Garlan: Ferune, please. Caprilla, Kacheena, please stay. My sister is a bit high spirited. I'll have lunch brought in. How does that sound?

Kacheena: Oooh, can I get lamb, it's my favorite.

Garlan: Lamb it is, perfect. See Ferune, we're learning something about them already. How about you, Caprilla, do you like lamb as well?

Caprilla: Just a salad for me, thanks. Perhaps some wine with that too?

Garlan: Certainly! We'll have that very quickly. The staff here is great.

Ferune: Just a salad, huh? Don't eat meat, Caprilla?

Caprilla: No, I do not.

Ferune: Well, you're not a dragon, that's for sure.

Kacheena: (laughs) No she's not.

Caprilla: You don't have to concern yourselves with my eating habits.

Garlan: I won't lie about being intrigued, but we talk about other things. When Thomas informed us that we were interviewing the two of you, he told us you were among his oldest of characters. Can you tell us anything about that?

Kacheena: Technically that's just me. Caprilla is not one of Thomas' characters originally.

Ferune: Wait. What? Are you from another author, Caprilla?

Caprilla: No.

Kacheena: Let me explain, before you two get into it with each other again. I didn't start as a story character. I began as a player character, as did Caprilla. The both of us began life around the gaming table. We haven't been played for years though. Not since before Thomas began writing.

Caprilla: What you see of us in the stories now is more fanfiction. Thomas isn't telling stories that happened around the gaming table.

Garlan: So these stories are going to be all new adventures for you?

Kacheena: Mostly, there will be bits and pieces that have their roots around the table. All of his stories do. He and his friends used to stop playing for hours at a time to discuss magic and fantasy things as if they were real.

Ferune: I always knew he was a wackjob.

Caprilla: That's not what she meant. Haven't you ever discussed something that's imaginary as if it were real? Like vampires and ghosts?

Ferune: Who says those aren't real?

Garlan: Easy there. I see what Caprilla means. They discussed things as though they were real to really dig into them and create the answers to questions they had about things like how magic works or how dragons could fly. They deconstructed elements of fantasy.

Kacheena: Yes, that's it. Those are they types of things which are threaded throughout Thomas' stories.

Ferune: So we're not going to get a retelling of any table top adventures in Thomas' stories?

Kacheena: No. Never will. Those adventures were part of everyone around the table. Thomas doesn't claim any ownership over what happened. Neither can that gestalt experience be portrayed in a written story where the experience is purely between the words and the reader.

Garlan: I see. Yes, that's an entirely different experience. What we see in the stories, is it Thomas' world then. The world he gamed with?

Kacheena: Loosely. He's recreated Vorallon for his stories. There are many elements in parallel, but it's not the same. Even the name 'Vorallon' is something that was never in the gaming adventures. Aran, Lorn, and Chreen were however. They were the Lords of Balance in his world. They set a lot of adventures in motion. Their backstories exist only in Thomas' books though. Lord Aran does borrow some of his playful nature from his namesake around the gaming table, but that's as close as the two come. Look to the foundations of things for the real similarities.

Garlan: I am not sure I understand.

Kacheena: In a fantasy world, with elves, and dwarves, and ogres, and dragons... What allows civilization to exist. Shouldn't the ogres and dragons have ended up eating everyone else? It gets worse though. We have things like demons and wizards too. How did all these creatures and beings of power not wipe man off the planet while man was still hunting deer with stone-tipped spears?

Ferune: That didn't happen though. Man was never a primitive upon Vorallon.

Caprilla: Exactly. Vorallon was populated artificially by the Celestials, or Old Gods as they've been most often referred to. Beings were placed upon Vorallon in very controlled numbers. Then Dakkar came along and nearly wiped everything out in the Gifts of Vorallon books. Now, thousands of years later, Vorallon has been repopulated. This is the foundation. How these things happened - this is all rooted in those between game discussions. Thomas took ownership of many of those ideas and used them as the foundations of his multiverse.

Garlan: That is fascinating.

Ferune: And very geeky too.

Garlan: No, Ferune, seriously. This is unique worldbuilding. It also means our two guests were roleplayed extensively before ever being placed within a story. It's as though they already existed as roles played by actors. They're one step closer to real people than you and I will ever be.

Ferune: They could always make a movie about us. I'm available.

Caprilla: Oh, please.

Ferune: Is that where your attitude is coming from? I am going to take a guess and say without your elf disguise you're a cow.

Caprilla: That's it. I'm killing her.

Ferune: You and what army, Bessie?

Kacheena: Time to go, Cap.

Caprilla: I am not a cow.

Ferune: I guess we'll never know, you won't tell us.

Caprilla: I've had enough of you. We're leaving.

Ferune: Good.

Caprilla: You're going to be in a story again, Ferune, and when you are, I am going to find you. We'll have this out, count on it.

(studio door slams)

Garlan: Okay, they're gone. Ferune, I have never been so ashamed of you. You were so rude... Why are you smiling? You just made an enemy, and you are sitting there smiling your ass off.

Ferune: You heard what she said, didn't you?

Garlan: Yeah, she's going to have it out with you. Her best friend is a dragon, and you don't even know what she is. You're screwed.

Ferune: No, before that. It's the best news I've heard in weeks! I'm going to be in a story again!

Garlan: But-

Ferune: She can blow me! It's not like I haven't died before.

To find out more about Kacheena and Caprilla's secrets, check out their stories in Tales of Vorallon!

Garlan and Ferune can be seen in the humorous, adult, choose-a-path adventure Damned in the Illmire Swamp - Read for free on WriteOn